Welcome to the first XPERT blog of 2025! I don’t know about you, but I just cannot wait for another twelve months of pole and aerial fun. Around this time of year, there’s a lot of talk about starting out anew – whether that be making a life change, trying to establish new habits, or giving something different a go. As we begin a brand new stretch on this blog, I decided to undertake a challenge for myself to kickstart this month’s edition with something a little different.
Being a beginner at anything is understandably quite a daunting prospect. Let’s be real – in an ideal world, we would all prefer it if every hobby or skill we attempted was something we were unexpectedly an undiscovered prodigy at. We can daydream to our heart’s content that the very first time we touch a pole or piece of aerial equipment that we are immediately amazing, with no struggles at all, naturally taking to flying through the air in a flexy trick like we were born to do it. Unfortunately, this fantasy is often unfulfilled. Not only is pole and aerial quite difficult, but it’s also a bit of a slowburner. Once you really get going, it becomes pretty apparent that there’s a lot of tricks and transitions that just take a while to achieve – regardless of strength, flexibility, dedication or experience.
I am what could be considered an experienced pole dancer nowadays. I’ve been doing this for somewhere between six and seven years, I teach and compete, and a huge amount of my life is taken up by pole. I love it. But it’s worth remembering that despite the time I’ve spent developing my skills in this wonderful artform, that I once very much started at square one. At the beginning of my pole and aerial journey, I really wasn’t very ‘good’ – in fact, I think that is what makes me a good teacher nowadays. I seemed to have so much less strength than others around me, and I felt as though I was always one step behind. The whole thing was a struggle, and I had to work really hard to push through and start eventually levelling up – which I believe is how I have managed to stick with pole as long as I have, as if it was easy I would have gotten bored. But it can be quite easy to forget how difficult I found pole in the early stages – as I now invert without thinking and climb without struggling, to cast my mind back to how things used to be is surprisingly challenging.
During the festive break between Christmas and January – you know the one, where no-one knows what day it is and your diet consists mainly of cheese, chocolate and ‘picky bits’ – I tootled myself along to a Fly Pole workshop hosted by XPERT trainer Jade Bensilum. Now, again, I’m not a newbie pole dancer, so as I had booked on I just thought to myself, ‘it’s still just a pole, how hard can it be?’ Safe to say, I was humbled. Don’t get me wrong, I had an amazing time, and this definitely will not be the last time you’ll see me on a flying pole but my goodness did it not come naturally to me at all. The difference in how it spins, the fact you’re in the air before you’ve even really done anything, how much dizzier I felt coming off compared to the usual spin pole experience. All of it.
But isn’t that the point of trying something new? Yes, the thought of being a beginner at something is daunting. Equally, isn’t the idea of re-experiencing all of those ‘firsts’ also extremely exciting? Think back to the first time you actually managed to squeeze through the discomfort and get your first pole sit. Cast your mind back to when you finally got your straddle hold on aerial hoop. The excitement you felt the very first time you managed to take your hands off in a trick and hang on just by your legs and sheer determination. Yes, it’s nerve-wracking to potentially jump back on the struggle-bus that is having a new aerial discipline. However, getting the opportunity to start a whole new journey and embracing all the exciting wins along the way are definitely worth the scariness.
So, how to be a beginner (even if you’re already a pole dancer or aerialist). Well, step one is to find something brand new that you haven’t tried before. That could be either a brand new discipline, or this could just be trying a brand new style. Are you usually found hanging on an aerial hoop? Trade that hoop for an aerial sling. Can you usually be found flowing around the pole, feet firmly on the ground? Book yourself onto a tricks workshop. Have you sampled everything available at your studio already? Ask your studio owner to host an external workshop, or make a trip to a workshop weekend elsewhere to give something different a go.
Okay, onto step two. Embrace the nerves. Be excited to expect the unexpected. Allow yourself to go down that newbie rabbit hole and search around for resources on what to expect in your first class. Check that you definitely have the class time correct three or four times before you leave the house. Live in the moment – feel all the feelings that start to simmer to the surface and enjoy them.
Step three: allow yourself to not be the best. Yeah, I’ve said it. I know that outwardly a lot of us say that we only focus on our own pole and aerial journeys and all that, but let’s be honest – it can be tricky to resist the urge to peer over at the next pole and see what others are doing, and if they’re finding that move easier than you or not. So do your best to remove that comparison, and focus instead on just giving things a try. Don’t apologise for struggling with things, or not getting them the first time – us instructors just want you to enjoy yourself and be safe, and we are here to help and support you, we don’t mind if you need us a little more often to help you out. Forget about any experience you might have that ‘should mean you’re good at this already’ and simply enjoy being a newbie.
Now onto step four. This is the last step and it takes a little reflection, but I think it’s pretty cool. If this was your first time ‘being new’ at something for a while – ponder not only the new pole and aerial skills that you learnt, but also, take some time to think about what it was like to be a beginner again. If you’re a pole or aerial instructor, keep those feelings in mind next time you have a brand new student in class. Remember how you felt walking into a room you were no longer ‘in charge’ of. This rediscovered wisdom will really help you to get in the mindset of that new student, and be able to support them even better – after all, you’ve got fresh experience on just how they are feeling. Now, if you are a pole dancer or aerialist who attends regular classes, my advice to you is pretty similar. Think back to your beginner class – you probably felt a little nervous, didn’t quite know where to stand, you may not have known anybody there so weren’t sure who you could share with. Hold onto that, and the next time you see someone at the studio whom you haven’t met before, extend that olive branch. They will be grateful for someone who is already comfortable at the studio taking the first step to including them, and isn’t it so nice to be able to be that kind person – whilst we were mulling over our ‘firsts’ earlier in the blog, remember the first person that was kind to you at the studio? Of course you do, they were awesome – so be that person!
Ultimately, in my opinion anyway, it’s so important for us to be beginners at something once in a while. Absolutely keep on with your pole and aerial journey and upskilling your usual wheelhouse skill, but challenge yourself once in a while to dip your toe in the unknown waters of a different apparatus or style. Not only do you get to explore all the things we’ve discussed in the blog, from helping you to be a better class buddy to improving your teaching skills, but also, it’s so nice to keep your training fresh and diverse. Longevity within the pole and aerial world doesn’t just come from consistency, it’s about variety too. Let’s make 2025 the year that we try something totally different and throw ourselves in feet first – after all, it’s good for us!